Yet another apology?

Most people I have known (and vice versa) have most consistently associated me to apologies. Generally, there are two ways to look at this – that I make as many mistakes to apologize for and then there is a positive outlook on all of this that I am ready accept when I am wrong.

Now, here is my take on this whole situation; I like to believe that everything can be dealt with – whether it is a emotional, materialistic or even physical – everything can be addressed at a psychological level, and all you need is time and someone to bounce your thoughts off. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it actually is the reality but what I mean is, let’s believe that it could be and that is worth the shot.

Probably this is why I am usually in situations where I am always in the endless (even pointless, if you look at it from others’ perspective) intent on discussing these problems. I don’t recall anyone actually liking these conversations – and to be honest, these are never pleasant and are often around a gloomy topic rather than a positive keynote. And I realize this, and which is the reason why I apologize most to the people that I am really close to. It is not that I like hurting people or their emotions, or that I do not want to learn from my mistakes, but it is that feeling inside me where I want to try to help someone (and sometimes myself too) through a problem.

Something that I am realizing now is that not everyone wants to listen to you (why should they?) going on about an issue (why always the problems?!) which they could possibly do away with (why can’t they ignore some of these problems?). I didn’t learnt this the easy way, but it better that I did instead of putting someone through this mess time and time again. I should really learn to give people their space (emotionally) and learn to draw (and stick!) to the boundaries that are quintessential for any two people to connect (and stay that way). An apology doesn’t cut it after a while; I don’t expect this to explain everything to those who had to face from me, but what I want you to know is that it was never my intention to hurt anyone – and I know that I still did!

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