Tag Archives: Hopes

Hardwired

Do I really care as much? Maybe the fact that I still wonder about it means there is some part which still does care.. trying to fix things, yet questioning every move for some never ending circle of validation.

People say things, and it is easy to be hurt by it. Yet you try and find the reason, anything to justify their stance by looking at the situation from their eyes, and often boiling it down to a scenario where you could have averted that.

The way I see this is, there is something beautiful about all of it. Yes, you would feel let down by people (a lot of times!), ignored or even invisible. But what truly amazes me is, you don’t do this to please anyone, don’t get bogged down by these emotions (maybe in certain moments, but you recover soon enough) and you want to do this all over again because deep down you’d hope that everyone does the same.

Too idealistic, though once in a while you have to shed this and do something for yourself, selfish without having to scour all the numerous possibilities, let go of these limits and go after the things that you really want.

And I would do all of this, the entire cycle, over and over again.

Yet another apology?

Most people I have known (and vice versa) have most consistently associated me to apologies. Generally, there are two ways to look at this – that I make as many mistakes to apologize for and then there is a positive outlook on all of this that I am ready accept when I am wrong.

Now, here is my take on this whole situation; I like to believe that everything can be dealt with – whether it is a emotional, materialistic or even physical – everything can be addressed at a psychological level, and all you need is time and someone to bounce your thoughts off. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it actually is the reality but what I mean is, let’s believe that it could be and that is worth the shot.

Probably this is why I am usually in situations where I am always in the endless (even pointless, if you look at it from others’ perspective) intent on discussing these problems. I don’t recall anyone actually liking these conversations – and to be honest, these are never pleasant and are often around a gloomy topic rather than a positive keynote. And I realize this, and which is the reason why I apologize most to the people that I am really close to. It is not that I like hurting people or their emotions, or that I do not want to learn from my mistakes, but it is that feeling inside me where I want to try to help someone (and sometimes myself too) through a problem.

Something that I am realizing now is that not everyone wants to listen to you (why should they?) going on about an issue (why always the problems?!) which they could possibly do away with (why can’t they ignore some of these problems?). I didn’t learnt this the easy way, but it better that I did instead of putting someone through this mess time and time again. I should really learn to give people their space (emotionally) and learn to draw (and stick!) to the boundaries that are quintessential for any two people to connect (and stay that way). An apology doesn’t cut it after a while; I don’t expect this to explain everything to those who had to face from me, but what I want you to know is that it was never my intention to hurt anyone – and I know that I still did!

An Optimist?

Was reading through an article on Lifehack and came across this quote which I wanted to share..

“We are all blessed with the present for a reason: to take advantage of the moment we are currently living, letting go of the bad things we were told in the past.”

If everything was supposed to turn out the way they tell us then what’s the point of this life? You have head and a heart to make your own reality, making your choices and owning the life that you want. Live!

Another wonderful line in there which really hits the note is:

“You have no control over the day you were born or the day that you die, but you do have control over what you do in between those days”

No point worrying about things which are eventually going to happen – all you can do is decide what to before the inevitable happens and have no regrets when that comes (I know the second part is easier said than done, but I am trying to practice that; let’s see how it goes).

Optimism is worth a shot, isn’t it? Others might say Murphy’s law often holds true, but maybe that’s why they sometimes call us “Hopeless Optimists”. After all, we are all a little hopeless in our own ways.